When he finally arrives home, I see twenty bags of groceries and only lemon juice and frozen salmon from the list. uh, just meeting up with some people.” Me: “Can you give me any of kind of time estimate? When you’re in a good relationship, people always want to know how you met, probably because they think you have the magic formula to lasting love.
However, we’ve also got tortillas, salsa, pineapples, lots of chocolate, iced tea, granola bars, popcorn, and a stoner grin. ” I ask, “Aw, man, I lost it…” He takes off his jacket and it’s sticking out of his back pocket. A lot of conversations that go like this: Stoned Boyfriend: “Uh, I’m gonna be late.” Me: “Okay, how late? ” SB: “Uh….” It was always unclear to me if these missions took such a long amount of time because my boyfriends were stoned, or if the people they were dealing with were stoned. So, naturally, he had freaked out in the middle of their dinner, and fled to the restaurant bathroom in terror. I met my current boyfriend because he’s in a band I love. until our first date, when he revealed he’d been stoned out of his mind each and every time.
The darkness peaked when he got his hands on some particularly doomy weed. To take a line from Lorraine Bracco: I got to admit the truth. Last Halloween was a low: we bought weed from a middle-aged pregnant lady in an Olive Garden parking lot.
Not my favorite first-date activity, but I said I didn’t mind.We both got really high and went to the opera for my birthday, which seemed like a great idea — until it wasn’t. It’s snowing onstage and you don’t know why everyone is singing in tongues, and all these fancily dressed people are glaring at you. When she smoked, she’d either be next to normal or high out of her head.I got in the habit of texting “Are you a solid or a liquid?And I wouldn’t have, except he hugely overdid it, and curled up on his bed whimpering “I’m so high, I’m so high,” while I watched This is how I’d know my boyfriend is a stoner.I send him out to the grocery store with a list that reads, “Salmon, portobella mushrooms, cous-cous, lemons, and cilantro.” An hour later I’m wondering why he’s taking so long since the store is five minutes away.